Frustration is one of the most commonly used words when we try to describe a feeling of resistance, of disappointment or anger when we deal with something that has not worked out for us, something that could not be accomplished or solved the way we wanted.
What is frustration?
According to Wikipedia,
“frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger
and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be.”
And the World English Dictionary says:
How to recognize frustration?
You see, frustration often comes as an emotional reaction to something that you want to control but you cannot. And, if you’re like most people, you truly hate that feeling. You think about the situation you’re in and just cannot find a way out, you cannot find a solution to that problem and that makes you feel powerless, exhausted, somehow even angry with yourself. You don’t want to “allow” yourself these feelings but there seems to be no way to escape. They’ve just taken you over.
Some thoughts about frustration
When looking at our businesses or at our personal lives, we must recognize that we face new challenges with everything we do, with everything we start and want to get going. So it’s almost natural that we have to face a lot of frustration too, isn’t it? Of course it is, and we all know that. But, we’re far away from accepting it. Mostly, we think “I did not deserve that”, “why is this happening to me” or “did I deserve something like that happening to me”.
How often have you found yourself thinking like that? Honestly, it happened to me often those days when I started out online. And, it took me quite a while to understand what happened and why, and even longer to find ways out.
Here is one of my favorite quotes about frustration by Kurt Vennegut Jr.:
“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.
I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
Ok, to overcome frustration is not always as easy as it sounds here. But there are ways out. Let’s talk about them.
Steps to overcome frustration
Accepting that you are frustrated and feel miserable is the first step out. As any other emotional response, frustration also leverages huge amounts of energy that you can use to further develop your personality. You cannot avoid to be frustrated so acknowledge the problem. Take that energy and use it to your advantage.
Write and talk about it
Here are some exercises. Courage my friend, you want to get out of frustration, right?
So please make sure that you do and repeat these exercises:
– Take a piece of paper and write it down: “I’m frustrated!”
– Look at yourself in a mirror and say loud: “I see myself and I’m frustrated!”
– Tell your buddy or another person you trust in: “I’m frustrated and I hate that feeling!”
Read about it
Reading about how other people managed to conquer frustration can help you very quickly to change perspective and renew your focus.
Here is a recommended book for you to read if you’re seriously interested.
Time to make changes
Change what you’re doing. You see, if you’ve not seen the results you expected you must have done things the wrong way. And this time it’s not enough to accept that. You must change it, you must do it and that involves reversing part of the actions you’ve done so far. It may hurt or cost you time and money – but again: you must do it.
Why is that so important? Because it gives you back the ability of taking action and you become the active part in the “game” again. Acting after you’ve accepted your situation will reorganize the chances and opportunities around you.
Never forget: the biggest breakthroughs were born out of some big frustrations.
Enjoy the result
Sometimes you can reverse the situation which caused your frustration completely, sometimes only small parts of it. Don’t feel sorry for what happened or what went wrong in the past – that was the cause of your frustration. Enjoy that you’re not on the same old track you’ve been before, that you are able to take action again and move forward. Because that’s the result you got.
A final reminder: don’t expect the new path to be without setbacks or roadblocks, without new frustration. Prepare yourself for the new challenges and if you feel frustration crossing your way again, say “no, thanks!” because you need your entire energy to face those challenges – not to fight frustration!